What's Next?

How will everybody satisfy theirselves if they do things in the way it should never be done?

Every now and then, eventhough not intending to lose them, I always end up with nothing in my hands. If I don't lose them, It's always set on my mind that it was misplaced, I misplaced it, left unsettled. Yeah, directly proportional!

Am I negligent? or am I just being myself? Anyway, whatever you choose there still reflects by me. If you would ever consult a thesaurus nor a dictionary or whatever that's artificially built from my personality, those two would mean the same though. To abridge it, I'll say i have been too negligent, carefree all these days. How bad(self-pity):(

I have been loosing my things since my 3rd year. And keeps on doing the same on my senior year. I don't have any motive on doing these, one thing's for sure, to waste my parent's earnings. It's been frustraing for me but what can i do? This is me. Everytime i plan for something right and fit, it still ends up a big F in the end. FAILURE!

I keep on giving up my things to others as if they're their property. I didn't mind what would happen to my stuffs if i would let them borrow it. What's in my mind is i did good because I've been generous and i impressed them. But days go by and start realizing what i thought was good could turn worse,and even worst. They start to borrow time after time that i couldn't find time to use it for myself anymore. They're always on it. I felt the pressure. What if i would not let them borrow? They would get mad at me. That's what i always think and i can't change my image anymore cause if i do, it would ruin everything.whew!

One day, my mother wondered why am i not using my gadgets at home. You know, as a son, if they have their stuffs on their friends, they would really deny it. So, i denied and denied, refused to tell the truth. Days grew shorter and my mother totally doubted on me so she frankly spoke. What else can i do? So, i told the truth. As ussual, got a freakish voice from inside her mouth. She told me i have to get all of those things as soon as possible or else! So i did.

I have to get my dvd, my watch, and my mp3 back. Fortunately i got them back. However, still, it did not change the kind of personality i have. Until now, i keep on losing and misplacing my things. I really don't know what to do to mutate myself. To change the way i am. To be the worthy me. I know i would never be the same as what i always see for myself in an instant but one thing's for sure, i know i could BE, i could handle things and minimize all the mistakes if i just trust myself. Then i would have my A-game..

However, even if these changes try to fill the void in me, i could never escape from the past and i'll have to carry my habit in my genes as long as I live:)

Just last month, i again misplaced my towel and almost lost my sister's umbrella, Hmm, i wonder, What's next?